


DancesWithHorses Wrote This Not Me

by RosieBrookMeade



Category: The Strain (TV)
Genre: Crack, Freeform, Haiku, Humor, Ice Skating, Love/Hate, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Spandex And Sparkles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-07 17:50:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17965283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosieBrookMeade/pseuds/RosieBrookMeade
Summary: As the title suggests, DancesWithHorses is the author of this crazy perfection and I’m just posting it in complete awe.1.	Enjoy. Your day (maybe even your life) will be better for reading this.2.	Please feedback with kudos and/or comments to let DancesWithHorses know how brilliant she (I assume - please correct if I'm wrong) is. She seems to be in some doubt.3.	I would love you to add to this fic via your own comments. I’ll add them as additional chapters with your pseud and/or title as the chapter title and credit you in the summary and/or as co-author if you have an account.It all started when I confessed to her that I’d misread an answer from the codeword I was using in that Codeword Flash Smut exercise I did a few weeks ago. I had read “axel” (an ice skating jump) as “axle” (the rod joining 2 wheels). She kindly said it was probably for the best as she couldn’t imagine Q skating. We left it there for a while and then, on Monday night, she left this mind-altering comment…





	1. Murder on Ice-Capades By DancesWithHorses

**Author's Note:**

> In italics, I have corrected one typo and added a very short explanation to another bit. The rest is verbatim what fell out of DancesWithHorses’ conscientiousness after a very rough work day.

Now it _{Quinlan on skates}_ is all I can picture. Assuming Strigoi can't cross liquid water, but that changes if it is frozen, Quinlan pretends to take up ice dancing to blow off steam when he is not chasing the Master. He stages a performance at a competition or an ice capades or something.

He would use the skates as an additional weapon, no doubt. Silver skates and silver swords.

Or he could skate with a partner. So he could do paired ice dancing, gracefully cutting Strigoi throats while tossing his partner in the air. She is of course slicing away at them as well. White goo and worms all over the ice.

Some of the lights are UV. She wears some kind of black Kevlar spandex with silver threads woven in to fend off worms. Head protection too. I'm picturing the scene from Legend where the dancer seduces Lily.

The Master attacks during what he thinks is a performance. He tries to take center stage and make it all about him. You know how he do. But everyone is in on it, including the audience, and they ain't having it. Swords & guns & UV lights & silver skates.

Not sure what music is playing, but maybe it ends with We Are The Champions by Queen. Setrakian spins in one of those su _p_ erfast tight corkscrews slicing up Eichorst with the cane sword. The Master gets fried by UV light reflected off of the sequins in Q's costume. And the disco ball overhead.

It could happen.

 


	2. Haiku By DancesWithHorses

White worms everywhere  
Spinning silver swords and skates  
Graceful vamp hunters


	3. Strain On Ice By RosieBrookMeade

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Try as I might, I couldn't stop thinking about ice skating strigoi. Amongst my lavish praise in response (deleted for easier, less nauseating reading) were the following ideas…

Each time I read it, I think of other angles

\- maybe a dream sequence, 

\- maybe an RPF crossover, 

\- maybe Standartenführer Eichhorst and young (ie hot) Setrakian as a love-hate partnership with a push-and-pull sort of tango-y, paso-y ice dance, 

\- Quinlan's silver skates in a kind of blade dancing, scissor-kicking, martial arts badassery frenzy, 

\- Quinlan in body con lycra/spandex with sequins and the UV lights coming out of a glitterball ...?! 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still haven’t got round to re-watching the scene from Legend.


End file.
